The Lowe Family News

deep thoughts not deep toots.

2011-12-14T10:45:00.005-06:00

at the beginning of the school year, my Lover gave each of our tErds a special father's blessing. the blessings are more for the kids going to school to bless them to do well, be a good examples for their friends, make righteous choices, etc.

as usual, Lover is prompted by the spirit to say special things in each child's blessing that pertains specifically to their needs and strengths.

i sat there that night and listened to each blessing with the spirit in my heart, so thankful that i had been blessed with 5 of heavenly father's choice spirits to live in these latter days. i had been chosen to be their earthly mother, to lead and guide them, to walk beside them. as if my testimony that heavenly father knows us better than we know ourselves wasn't strong enough, the blessings that night solidified it even more.

miah's blessing stood out very loudly for me that night.

louder than the rest of the children's blessings.

he was blessed with

the strength to do the best that he can do.

and as long as he did that,

heavenly father would do the rest.

as most of you may know, miah is adopted and since starting school, we have noticed some significant learning delays that are more than likely attributed to his genetic makeup. things that his mom, sister, brothers, cousins, etc. probably struggle with. it's been frustrating for me to watch him struggle and i'll admit that i've lost it with him more than 1 or 2 or 10 times because in the moment, i don't understand how he can't figure certain things out that seem so simple. things that jake or kora easily picked up when they were 3 or 4.

miah has been placed in special reading and math classes in each school he's attended to help him progress but here we are, halfway through his 1st grade year and he's still lagging behind significantly. sometimes when i think about it i get angry. i'm angry at the school for not helping him more and listening to me. i'm angry at his birth family for giving him this genetic makeup, and sadly, i even get angry at miah. it's been difficult for everyone to say the least.

but.

today i was able to take the two little brothers and journey to the school for miah's christmas music program. i was late, and hot and sweaty and i was holding gus who had thrown up the night before and i was crossing my fingers he wouldn't throw up in front of everyone at the school. there was standing room only when i showed up so my arm almost broke off holding 82 lb gus the entire time.

anywho.

my point is, i was annoyed.

miah had sung these songs for me at home and i wished that would have been sufficient enough so that i wouldn't have to drag everyone up there to watch it at the school.

now before you write me off as the worst mother in the world,

i WENT because i knew that miah needed to see my face there.

i KNEW that regardless of everything else, it was important for him to see his mom watching him sing.

and as i sat there dripping with sweat, shoulder to shoulder with other moms and squirmy kids, i was overcome with the spirit during "i saw mommy kissing santa clause".

i watched that sweet miah of mine with his squinty paisley eye'd smile giggle about the words to the song he was singing, doing all the hand and body motions, having fun and every now and then glancing over at me to make sure i was watching.

my heart was so warm and my eyes filled with tears.

that was my boy.

MY miah.

and then i started to think about his birth family and the joy that miah brings to our family that they're missing out on. the sweet smiles they don't get to see. the silly, very LOUD laugh they don't get to hear. the cute style he sports with his skinny jeans and his metro hair and accessories they don't get to smile at. the most sincere gift giving and acts of kindness he does for everyone that they don't get to receive or be a part of.

it hurt me.

it hurt me to think that they chose a path that would never allow them be a part of his life. i tried to put myself in his shoes and wonder what that must feel like. and then to top it off, what it must feel like to be compared to your siblings that are nothing like you. to get yelled at for things you can't control. to KNOW you're different and to try so hard NOT to be.

i know i know.

i'm a sucky mom. just defriend me now please.

during that moment of spiritual enlightenment, i thought back to the words said during miah's blessing given to him almost 5 months ago.

"you are blessed with the strength to do the best that you can do."

the best YOU can do.

miah.

not the best jakob or kora can do.

or anyone else.

and if done,

heavenly father would take care of the rest.

and then i realized the words in that blessing weren't only for miah to hear. they were for me to hear. i needed to know that miah only has to do the best he can do and that he WILL succeed because heavenly father will do the rest. i don't need to stress, or freak out or scream, or get frustrated. i need to have faith.

now.

that doesn't mean i won't do everything in my power to make sure he gets the best education and help and resources he possibly can. or that i won't stop pushing miah to try harder and to be more focused and push forward. it just means i need to be okay with knowing that he won't ever be someone else. he will always be miah. and as long as he puts forth his very best effort in everything he does, he will be the BEST miah he can be.

and i'm 1000% okay with that :)

the brown lowes.

by miah.

it's inappropriate.

2011-12-01T20:02:00.005-06:00

2 months since i last blogged.

i know.

i'm not really a blogger anymore.

i'm retired.

but i still have to document my kids' lives, yeah?

ok FINE i am a blogger

just a sucky one.

shut your face.

it's inappropriate

for me to find gus covered in chocolate

buck nEked

all while trying to clean up his mess

while Lover and i were...

busy.

it's inappropriate

for me to find and buy this rad thrifted belt

with a big 'ole bass buckle,

and the name 'richard' across the back.

oh you bet i'll wear this you son of gun you.

it's inappropriate

for my arms to be so dang long

that my kids use them as a swing.

all i have to say is,

google image the word "marfan syndrome".

okay this one's a toughy.

is it more inappropriate

for kora to ride around town on her bike

with her ken barbie hooked on the handle bars

with his pants down?

or is it more inappropriate

that ken has poof'd up bangs, full makeup with cat eyes,

lipstick and highlights?

he looks like he got attacked at the mac counter.

i can't decide.

it's inappropriate

for lover to buy ME birthday cupcakes on MY birthday

but have the place make one for HIM that's chocolate

since i like red velvet.

ok so i only get 11? wtc?

it's inappropriate

for you to smash ur baby's face.

but it's oh so fun.

it's inappropriate

for me to walk into the bathroom and see this.

too many thoughts run through my head.

did kora start her period?

have the brothers finally killed each other?

is this a joke?

is that from a hand or a head?

where is the body and how much time do we have to dispose of it?

thankfully it was only red velvet cake hands.

phew!

it's inappropriate

for me, a 33 year old MOM of 5,

to be in love with justin beiber.

but i am.

oh oh oh ohhhhh i am.

it's inappropriate

for gus to come running out of my bathroom

covered in shaving cream.

i swear we watch him...sometimes.

it's inappropriate

for me to continue to find thrifted awesomeness

like this flight attendant dress.

that i didn't buy!!!!

i hate my decisions sometimes.

it's inappropriate

for me to take pictures of Lover shaving

with his pants unbuttoned.

but daaaaaadgummit.

he's hot.

it's inappropriate

for my children to just melt.

right in the middle of the floor.

but unfortunately they do sometimes.

oh well, i've got 4 more.

it's inappropriate

for Lover to play with knives

cuuuuzzzzzz...

(you better be sayin this before i do)

he gun cut hisself!!

bessssst. fooooooo. lasssssst.

it's inappropriate

for me to be addicted to roadkill.

still.

i know. i just can't help myself.

oh dang.

there it is again.

guts and all just hangin out.

i love it.

it's inappropriate.

2011-10-04T12:58:00.004-05:00

it's inappropriate...

for one of my kids

to have to suffer through life

with a north carolina birth certificate

while all his siblings

have an awesome shiny texas one.

it's inappropriate...

for me to allow michele's kid

to collect feathers at the park

while i babysit him.

feathers.

*gag*

feathers that came out of the body of birds.

nasty. dirty.

infectious covered BIRDS.

but then again, he's not my kid.

it's inappropriate...

for me to have to get my boob smashed

in this horrid machine.

dear mammogram worker lady,

you're very kind and all

as you manipulate my boob to lie flat

without any creases,

but i assure you,

there is no more boob left for you to smash

no matter how much

you pull from my neck and armpit.

trust me. i've tried.

it's inappropriate...

for me to look this amazing

in this thrifted leather dress.

for some reason i just can't help myself.

when i see something this obscure.

it has to be on me.

has to.

now,

please note the lack of boobs

in the breastical section of my chest

and re-read the mammogram post

with a better visual.

it's inappropriate...

for lover to address me so formally.

but when he does,

i make sure to return the favor in my reply

using the utmost respect.

it's inappropriate...

for isaak to flip me off as he sleeps.

but frankly,

sometimes i feel the same way.

it's inappropriate...

for me to look so sexy

after i'm done cleaning the house.

this one is for you britt.

it's inappropriate...

to condemn your customers to hell

for theft.

but more importantly,

it's inappropriate

to use quotations incorrectly.

the "lord"?

so not the literal lord?

just the fake one?

meh. that's nuthin.

it's inappropriate...

for Lover,

a 35 year old man,

to put gummy worms on his fro-yo.

but what's even more inappropriate

is that i'm not looking at his yogurt.

it's inappropriate...

for my hair to give itself

a blonde streak highlight in the front.

who am i rogue? from x men?

is this 1991?

it's inappropriate...

for this baby to be used

for any type of advertising

except for maybe a medication

that turns your baby into

a 50 year old man.

and lassssssst.

always the best.

it's inappropriate...

for isaak to remove his underwear,

throw it in my dryer,

and then use it as a target

to pee on.

yes, people.

that's a river of pee

in my dryer.

10 things i love.

2011-09-30T12:06:00.004-05:00

{1}

i love...

going on adventure bike rides with the brothers.

and finding too big to be true trees

that irene pushed over

just sitting there,

waiting for a photo op!

{2}

i love...

that izey longed to marry me

all. summer. long.

and we finally tied the knot

during one of our last pool trips of the summer.

{3}

i used to NOT love isaak's love

for thomas the train.

until i realized

how completely inappropriate it is.

and you KNOW

i love inappropriate.

{4}

i love...

how silly lover is.

and how he plays it off so well

in front of everyone else.

{5}

i love...

when pawpaw comes to visit.

and i love even more,

that the brothers love it too.

{6}

i love...

being white trash

and making budget swimming pools

for the brothers

on super hot days.

and clearly,

i'm not the only one who loves it.

{7}

i love...

my butt.

i do.

it's taken me almost 33 years to be able to say that

but i can honestly and proudly say that i do love it.

i love that it's huge.

that it's ghetto.

that it shakes the earth when i do box jumps.

or slaps me in the back of my head when i do sprints.

it's mine.

and i love it.

however,

i don't love it

when it knocks entire shelves

out of the fridge.

stupid butt.

{8}

i love...

how ocd my Lover is each night.

how he lays each of these items

on the kitchen table,

in a neat little row

all ready for work the next day.

{9}

i love...

my best friend bonnie.

(please don't be mad that i posted this. it's my favorite)

and i love this picture of her.

i wish i was your friend back then

so we could talk about all of the crazy adventures

we had back in the days

of air dried swimming pool hair

and hawaiian shirts.

and speaking of friends.

{10}

i love...

my friend rita

dammit, i'm crying.

i loved being neighbors with you,

i loved all the yummy treats you made me,

i love how you always had everything i needed,

i love how you love my kids,

i love your fun personality, your generosity, your compassion.

i love your example to me

to be a better person.

i love your triangle mouth face.

i love that you order 8 meals at a restaurant.

i love hairnets, finger condoms, and wax lips.

i love your mysteriousness.

i love how you still gave me a chance at being friends

even though i brought peanut butter cookies

to your child who is deathly allergic to peanuts.

i love your carl, your michaella, your bryndle and your hayden

more than you will ever know.

and i'll miss you all so. so. so. soooooooo. much.

good luck pretty friend :)

lover came HOME home...like 72 years ago.

2011-08-24T20:05:00.010-05:00

sometimes i get way

way

wayyyyyy

behind in blogging events.

and then i feel overwhelmed.

and i just quit.

so when i finally decide TO blog,

i'm blogging about things that are

734984399 years old.

annoying.

i know you, me, and everyone's mother's dog

is so over

lover coming home from afghanistan.

but i have to document this.

or my kids will wonder what happened.

and then they'll get old and write a book

about how terrible of a mother i was.

so let's make this quick and painless.

ready?

let's go.

so when i came home from seeing my Lover in NC,

we had to wait about 2 more weeks

before he could come to texas

and see the kids for the first time.

it was only a few days before the long wait was over,

and the kids were so excited and ready to see dad.

so i told them the plan.

on the day he flew in,

we would go to the airport after school

and pick him up.

i lied.

instead.

i was going to surprise them.

so we got the house all ready.

and decorated the yard.

we made the car all pretty and fancy.

and hung yellow ribbons on all the trees.

we hung two signs.

one from the kids

on the gate into our neighborhood.

and one from me

on the front door :)

i even had some special preparations

for myself that needed to be taken care of.

and then late one night,

after the kids were all in bed,

i snuck out to go pick up my sessy Lover

at the airport.

ok really they weren't in bed.

and they kept calling me all night

because i had told them i was going out

with mia.

which wasn't completely a lie.

i just forgot to include

we would be with two hot guys as well.

oops.

dinner was a blast

Lover finally got to meet the girl

who got me through the last 7 months.

and mia finally got to meet the guy

who got me through the last 12 years.

win. win.

after our late night rendezvous was over,

i had to go back home without my Lover

who was secretly staying at pops' house.

but not before we decided to

park in a vacant lot.

and rearrange the car seats.

for no apparent reason at all.

ahem.

wow. that was awkward.

when i got home

the babies were all fast asleep

and had no idea what magical moments

were in store for them the next day.

we woke up the next morning,

just like any other morning.

i got the 3 big kids off to school,

and then came home to wait patiently

for my Lover to come and surprise the babies.

okay.

so that's not even close to "any other morning"

from the past 7 months.

it was pretty much awesome.

isaak and gus both were so happy

they were speechless.

i was actually expecting much less from them,

especially august.

but they both went straight to him

and hugged him so tightly

as if time had stood still since the day he left.

it made my heart melt.

then we all loaded up in the car

to head to the school

to surprise the 3 big munchkins.

aaaaand

we may or may not have had

about 3 different news stations meet us there.

yes.

we were on cbs, nbc, abc and wfaa that evening.

no biggie.

(here's the best one!)

we went to each classroom separately

beginning with miah's and ending at jakob's.

each moment was special

and individual

and exactly how i wanted it to be.

my sister came with us

to take some amazing pictures.

and my dad too, to video the whole event

and make me

this special video.

love you daddy and amy :)

finally.

we were whole.

lover was only able to stay for 2 weeks

before he had to go back to nc and the daily grind.

we also had to wait to finish school in texas

so these 2 weeks were going to have to

get us through another month and a half.

blah. i know.

but we made the most of it.

we ditched that school

and went out to eat

making Lover stay in his dress blues

so we could show off our marine.

we spent the next few weeks

just being normal.

ahhhhhhh normalcy. you felt so nice.

we ate lots and lots of yogurt.

and i enjoyed the new scenery.

mmm. man.

we even got brave

and took the whole family out for breakfast.

and then we remembered

why we don't do that.

Lover and i had fun

"playing mom and dad" again.

reminiscent of our 11 days alone in nc.

but then remembered why we don't do that either.

one of the very best moments

of the entire 2 weeks was,

kora being baptized.

in the lds church, we are baptized when we turn 8.

since kora turned 8 while Lover was away,

she chose to wait until he got home

so he could be here and baptize her himself.

finally,

after waiting so patiently,

kora was able to be baptized by her father

on saturday, april 23, 2011.

she shared her baptism date

with her good friend chandler.

her dress was very special

and handmade

by miss valinda the lovely.

i sent valinda my wedding dress

a long while back.

and asked her to

replicate a mini version of my dress

for kora's baptism dress.

here is my wedding dress.

and then made from

the very dress i wore on my wedding day,

kora's baptism dress.

it was identical and perfect and beautiful.

she loved it.

we topped it off with

french braids from mia,

a sparkly tiara

and a pretty smokin dad

and it was picture perfect!

being the day before easter,

we took some cousin shots

with everyone in their matching cuteness.

except aidan.

apparently he tried to pass off his high-waters

as manpris like the lowe boys wore.

sister...

*headshake*

lauren was stunning.

and cousin love was in full effect.

we even got a visit

from emily and michael's sweet family.

isn't jacob a doll?

actually,

i only posted this picture because

my legs look good in the background.

sorry little jacob.

you sure are cute though.

('cept your name is spelled wrong)

and we would have scored a new family picture.

except the stupid wind

decided to make me look really bleck.

thank you wind

for screwing up everything.

the next morning was easter!

we had our traditional egg hunt

to find the baskets in the morning.

everyone was quite pleased with their loot

i must say.

and then the afternoon was spent

with more cousins!

we hunted.

and hunted.

and then ate and ate.

till our bellies were sick.

isn't that what you're supposed to do on easter?

our two weeks flew by faster than ever

and before we knew it,

it was our last night with Lover.

and like the selfish mom i am,

i stole it for a date.

because really?

who could resist this piece of hotness?

you wouldn't want to share either.

we skipped away to dinner

and ate yummy crab macaroni and cheese.

while we talked about

how awesome our past two weeks had been.

we also day dreamt about the upcoming summer

where we'd LIVE together.

as a FAMILY.

wow. crazy concept.

and then before i could say,

"Lover",

he was gone again.

poop.

BUT.

i must say,

the next 6 weeks flew by pretty fast.

and it makes a world of a difference

to be able to

text. or call. or email your Lover.

anytime you want.

and that brings us to today!

in nc.

as a family.

in a house.

together.

and loving every minute of it!

surprise parties give me ulcers.

2011-08-10T14:52:00.010-05:00

so today, august 10th,

(i'm a night blogger, sorry)

is michele's 27th birthday.

and a few weeks ago, rita and i came up with the great idea

to throw her a really rad indian party.

red dot.

not feathers.

i'm pretty sure indians have more fun than anyone on earth.

i kinda wish i were indian

just so i could dress up

and party like one.

ok, not kinda, i really do.

anywho,

enough about indians.

when we approached spouse about when we could throw the party,

he told us he had plans of his own

for us to throw a party for her.

a surprise party.

but he wanted to change all the rules.

no indian henna.

no indian belly dancing.

no indian jewel'd faces.

no indian food.

no indian music.

no indian outfits.

pretty much,

no. indian. theme.

buh buh booooring.

but since he's michele's spouse,

and she kinda loves him,

we obliged

and changed the theme to his idea:

{sweets and treats}

the day of the party i pretty much ran around like

a chicken with it's head cut off

trying to make and bake and prepare

everything for the party.

my nose had been pouring like a flippin faucet

all. day. long.

so when i showed up at rita's house to set up

i had to take preventative measures

to protect the food spread.

rita, of course, had to document.

we rushed around, trying to set up,

until the very last moment.

we even enlisted the help of the guests

as they arrived.

how rude is that.

i know.

but i don't care.

to help us stay sane,

(which it didn't because i still went insane

and started sweating like a horse)

we had friends pitch in and bring treats too.

yes.

we asked guests to work.

rude again i know, but still, don't care.

amylouwho made a delectable

raspberry lemonade punchy.

aaaaand

i stirred it.

mo-gin hung black and white pictures

that documented good times.

and britt bent over and showed us how she takes it.

oh my gosh.

did i just type on my blog?

i mean makes it.

pretty things.

decorations.

she makes them. while bent over.

nevermind...

once everything had arrived

and been set up,

it. looked. terrific.

(lindsey tells us we should use that word more often)

tuuuuuur-rific.

feel free to pinterest this picture.

cuz it's pretty much awesome.

oh and you want to see

my motivation for this sweet spread?

go here.

(no really, don't cuz then you'll see

how bad mine looks in comparison, mmkay?)

the black and whites

formed the number '27'

on a wall of pink and silver balloons.

the sweets and treats were

mouthwateringly divine.

cupcakes

fruit with cream cheese dip

veggies and ranch dip

chicken salad

cake pops

homemade salsa

mini fruit pizzas

chocolate dipped strawberries

jalapeno poppers

and enough candy to rot your teeth in one day.

on a side note,

tooting my own horn, of course,

it was my first time making cake balls

and can i just say that they were pretty much incredible.

can i?

can i say that about my own food?

ok good, because i just did.

i'm not even really sure that everyone else

felt the same way.

i just know i did and i'd like to proclaim it.

when michele walked in,

she was flabbergasted.

(i sure am being really descriptive today, huh?)

seriously.

rita and i were almost sure she knew about it.

but she didn't.

you can't fake tears.

well, at least i know michele can't

and there were indeed tears.

she was so blown away,

that she started nervously hugging everyone.

i'm not a hugger.

at. all.

michele knows this.

but,

she hugged me still.

i think it may have possibly been

our 1st hug ever.

and it was awkward and stiff

and her boobs touched mine.

dear michele,

please don't hug me ever again.

love,

the hussy.

over all,

i think spouse was pleased with our fine work.

dear spouse,

please don't ever ask me

to organize a surprise party ever ever again.

it gives me ulcers.

and i start carrying around

a little green notebook

filled with notes and reminders.

and rita makes fun of me for it.

love,

the hussy.

one of the best parts about the party

was getting to meet

michele's sweet sister, kathy

and her husband joseph.

why is she so awesome, you wonder?

because she likes me more than michele.

mmm hmm.

her blog following past proves it.

she does. i just know it.

*wink*

the party was super fun.

all the boys gathered in the kitchen

and talked about war and fbi crap.

but i'm pretty sure

they were all thinking something

totally different.

we got rowdy and loud

and played pit.

have you ever played pit?

because you should.

it makes your blood pressure get really high.

and angry.

like trying to tap your hand on the table

as fast as you can

and your hand just can't go quite as fast

as you want it to.

(you're trying it now, aren't you?)

and michele got all awkward hands-y.

she always does.

what in the hell is that?

carl just got angry.

he had enough of all the mormonism

floating in his non-mormon house.

so he grew a mustache,

grabbed a beer,

and went to his office to drop the f bomb.

you go carl.

we took a nice group shot

of all the lovely ladies.

(say that in a dirty mexican accent)

lohvlee laythees.

and then we decided to just be ourselves.

cause we look stoooopid being normal.

normal = not us.

aren't you jealous you don't have friends like mine?

yes.

yes you are.

oh.

and what good is a party without

a little photo booth friend action?

why do i look mexican next to you?

happy birthday

sweet michele.

thank you for giving us ulcers.

and feeding us fattening fatty foods.

and letting us show your sister

how weird we are.

we had a blast

even though,

we didn't get to be indians.

oh.

and thank you for a reason

to wear wax lips

while i partner'd with rita

to make your day amazing.

i hope it worked :)

love you.

it's inappropriate.

2011-08-06T19:14:00.004-05:00

it's inappropriate...

to use your kid as a trash can

'cause you can't find any other place to stick

those annoying "inspected by" stickers.

it's inappropriate...

for a young hussy's hands to look this way.

but when she's

incredibly buffy mcbuffster

she's pretty much okay with it.

(even though i'm not any where near

as buff as my workout partner)

it's inappropriate...

for any public bathroom

to ask this of me.

are you kidding?

i don't care that you're at church

and all holy and clean.

still. no.

it's inappropriate...

to take advantage of the fact that you have boys

on long road trips.

and then to pour it out your window

when you're going 80 down the highway

with lover tailing you.

mmm. refreshing.

it's inappropriate...

to try to pronounce this company's name out loud

when jakob is sitting in the front seat

right next to you.

koch.

it's inappropriate...

to give your vertical blinds a cute bob'd haircut

to make the ugly window unit

feel more welcome.

yes. yes i did.

it's inappropriate...

to file your nasty nails during sunday school

right. next. to me.

not only because it's flippin LOUD,

it makes me feel like i have YOUR fingernail dust

in my mouth.

*gag*

it's inappropriate...

for any girl

to have to do this repulsive act.

period.

it's inappropriate...

to wear this little number

and to not even flinch

when you flash me your black panties

as the wind blows.

over and over and over.

oh wait,

this is jacksonville, nc.

never mind.

it IS appropriate.

it's inappropriate...

to push things that ask ever so nicely

not to be pushed.

but i do it anyway.

it's inappropriate...

for my phone to behave this way.

but what's even more inappropriate,

is how i want to slam it up against the wall

and then beat it with a bat

when it does.

i have a slight anger issue.

it's inappropriate...

for gus to try to escape.

but he doesn't care.

and so?

he persists.

IS it inappropriate...

for me to get these dixie cups on my truck?

because i really want them.

it's inappropriate...

to serve plank steak for dinner.

but how can you resist when it's so

mother frickin funny?

and besty fo yo lasty?

it's inappropriate...

never mind.

i'll just let this speak for itself.

smiles for the weekend. from me to you.

2011-07-22T14:16:00.003-05:00

after hearing some sad news

(that unfortunately happens more often

than anyone would like to really know about.

if you have 2 minutes,

please leave her a comment and thank her for her ultimate sacrifice)

i felt like i needed a few smiles

that i'll gladly share with you.

insert, heart warming feelings, here.

i'm so thankful for the 5 precious personalities

that heavenly father has blessed me with.

jakey.

a shy one.

but stick him in front of a flip

and he's on fi-yuh!!

oh toughripper...

watch out ladies.

koko livy.

she loves katy perry, boys, softball

boys, video games and boys.

did i say boys?

ughh, i feel sick.

jeremiah.

a softy.

but a great big brother.

sweet enough to give you cavities.

isaak keith.

he has two sides.

a loyal little dude

who likes to cuddle with his mommy

and

salute every marine

that walks past him

with the utmost honor and respect.

or.

a wild and crazy

little afghany boy.

that will destroy everything

he comes in contact with.

you just never know.

gustopher.

dirty. rowdy. mean. lovable. delicious to the taste.

is that a contradiction?

each one is so unique.

so full of spirit. and fun. and smiles.

sometimes

i think they get it from me.

but then,

i go to pick up pizza with lover.

and as i wait for him in the car,

not paying attention,

i look up to find him planking on the grass.

with people walking around staring at him.

and then i realize,

nope.

they get it from him.

happy weekend!

all dressed up - peggy bundy rocks my face off.

2011-07-20T01:00:00.001-05:00

having Lover home

channels my inner housewife awesomeness.

it also channels lots of junk food and treats.

and apparently an extra 10 lbs.

stupid channeling.

although it may very well all have gone to my boobs.

where did those come from, right?

don't be jealous of my awesome hair.

i know you are.

stop drooling.

top: f21.

belt: gift from kempylulu.

gold leggings: gift from no model lady.

shoes: vera wang for kohls.

sweet stripper hair: heavenly father's glorious gift to me.

if you wanna see more picture

from this radical peggy bundy photoshoot

(you know you do. they only get better)

then go check out

no model lady

and her linky pah-tay.

things i love.

2011-07-18T12:31:00.007-05:00

i love boys on the front porch.

eating candy.

with their football, a water bottle, and a trash pile.

i love when august decides to do his own makeup.

with a red sharpie.

i love my new red shoes.

even if they are incredibly uncomfortable.

beauty is pain.

i love my sisters.

they're better than anyone else's sisters.

peacock.

i also love posting pictures of them

all fuzzy haired and pregnant.

it's good for my ego.

i love baby buns on stair rails

in the sunlight.

i love watching gus when he laughs.

it makes me laugh too.

and then i go crazy giving him 1000's of kisses.

i love looking at old pictures

of Lover holding isaak.

or any of our babies for that matter.

i love (and miss)

my texas friends.

i love visiting my friend candace

at her beach house.

and i love that she's so beautiful.

especially when she's pregnant :)

i love when rita makes me delicious treats.

hint. hint.

i love that i have one girl.

and that she's the most beautiful girl on the planet.

not to mention totally funny and talented.

i love texas.

and i love that texas loves texas too.

i love sewing with my friend amy.

i've actually been craving it.

now i just need some free time.

what's that, you ask?

i have no idea.

i love these brothers

in their retro clothes.

i love self portraits

in the victoria secret dressing room.

i love father daughter relationships.

nothing tops them.

nothing.

i love the gospel of christ.

and

i love america.

and i love when both of these things hold hands.

it makes my heart warm.

and the best?

i love these kids.

and i love that they're mine.

all 5 of them.

it's inappropriate.

2011-07-11T01:00:00.001-05:00

it's inappropriate

to try to sell your used earrings.

and especially for .75

all i can think of

is stinky butt smelling ear boogers.

guh-ro-tee.

it's inappropriate

for rita to vent the hate in her heart

toward michele to me.

let it go rita. let it go.

*hands in flapping wing motion over heart*

okay this was a awhile back

and i never blogged it.

but,

it's inappropriate

for kora to fall off of her ripstik

and hurt her elbow

and then to have her mother tell her

to stop faking it.

only to find out a week later,

she really did break it.

she made me write,

"i'm sorry."

on her cast

in the same spot where i wrote

"faker!"

on her splint.

i'm pretty much the best mom in the world.

just so you know.

oh and one more thing.

it's incredibly super trashily ghetto budget

inappropriate

to cut off your own cast.

but we did it anyway.

(long story short: she was set to get it off the week we arrived back in nc so we were going to have to switch insurance regions, get records mailed, schedule new appointment, ask for referral, wait for referral appointment, and THEN visit new specialist for xrays and removal. with tricare that would have taken about 7 years. fyi, she's been fine since we took it off. no worries.)

it's inappropriate

for a daughter to buy this father's day card

for their daddy.

but my sister did anyway.

it's inappropriate

to take pictures of your kid

on a public toilet.

but when they look so stinkin cute

you can hardly resist!

it's inappropriate

for me to post pictures

of my baby bump

when i'm not pregnant.

wtc?

and lasty for besty?

it's inappropriate

for my jeans to decide

that they can't handle the weight of

my badonkadonk ghettoness

while i'm doing my crazy yoga positions

to try and fit into them.

oh crud.

ps. don't ask me how i got this angle.

finally a kiss after 7 months.

2011-06-29T07:08:00.042-05:00

eeek!

it's time for the rest of this story, in pictures, of course.

warning.

this is very uhmm, detailed.

and very very long. and boring.

and inappropriate.

so grab a snack cuz you better not skip it.

so the next morning i got all dressed and fancified.

rita made sure i was perfect.

then we headed on over to the barracks

where Lover was set to pull in.

my very own amy lou who (sews) was my life saver

and photographed the whole event.

isn't that dreamy of her?

nothing better than having a friend with you

on one of the biggest days of your life!

i got to see my funny friend, stephanie, there too!

she was pretty much the only other wife in the battalion

that i was friends with.

her husband worked pretty closely with Lover.

he was just the battalion commanding officer of 1/8.

the main dude over all 1000+ marines.

Lover's boss.

no big deal.

any who. i love this lady.

she's so awesome.

are my eyes closed in this picture?

and am i pregnant?

what the...?

so after chillin out for a bit, waitin for the boys to arrive,

the big military trucks

started to unload the bags.

which meant, Lover would be arriving any minuto!

the loud speaker continually updated us on where the boys were.

"they're entering the main gate"

"they're headed to the armory to return their weapons"

i had been warned that the armory took awhile

so i thought i had about another 45 min to an hour left

before i saw those big white buses pull up

that stole my Lover away 7 months ago

only to return him safely to me once again.

i was going cuh-ray-zeee!

and then.

i glanced over to my friend, amy,

who was looking in the direction

that my back was facing

and she got this incredibly large smile

and surprised look on her face.

so i turned around

to see what was making her go bonkers

and who do you think was walking towards me?

that's right.

Lover.

in all his sexy cuteness glory.

with a big 'ole grin plastered on his face :)

apparently,

Lover got done with the armory first

and didn't want to wait for everyone else

and ride the buses over.

he had a job to do

(i mean that in the most inappropriate way possible)

and he was gonna get it done.

so he just walked.

and then?

we kissed.

and kissed and kissed and kissed.

but it all happened so fast

that i didn't get a good look at him.

so i took his cover off,

and took a moment to just soak his sweet face in.

yep.

same 'ole perfect Lover of mine he was :)

and then we hugged.

and hugged and hugged and hugged.

i didn't ever want to let go.

it was like i just couldn't get enough.

it felt so unreal.

and then we kicked amy out

and ran away.

no just kidding. we walked.

but we really did kick amy out.

*wink*

we had originally planned to stay at the base hotel.

but it's grody. and not romantical.

so as we were pulling up to it,

Lover just kept on driving.

and as i'm sure you can imagine,

we were both anxiously awaiting "alone time".

ahem.

so when i looked over at him like,

"what in the heck are you doing?"

he said, "we're going to raleigh baby!"

and then i said,

"uhmm. Lover?

raleigh is 2 1/2 hours away.

i've already waited 7 months. i can't wait any more."

so we pulled down one of these fancy little

desolate gravel roads

and...

uhmmm.

held hands?

i can't really remember the details here.

whatever took place satisfied any "cravings" we had

for at least another 2 1/2 hours.

nothing chivalrous about that.

enough said.

hah.

soon we arrived at the hotel in raleigh.

the view was better than anything i'd seen

in a loooooong time.

our first few "moments" together

took a little adjusting. on both ends.

when you're apart from your loved one

for such a long period of time,

your mind creates the most romantical scenes

for the reunion.

but in reality.

it's not romantic.

it's actually quite awkward.

ok really awkward.

like that first night when Lover was jet lagged

and seriously, dozing off into space,

and i was trying to spoon him.

only to be thrown

practically halfway across the bedroom by him

in a mad frenzied rage of marine dude anger.

because in his deep,

"i'm still in afghanistan where there are no hot chicks trying to spoon you"

sleep

he thought a little man love action was trying to take place.

and as soon as

he plastered me against the wall

ready to smash my face in,
(not really he just pushed me off really hard)
he realized that it was just me.
and apologized for thinking i was a dude.
and we both got a good laugh.
and i continue to get a good laugh each day
as i tease him about his man spooning.

2nd attempt at dreamy enchanting love?
fail.

ps.
that's lover with the mullet.

the next night we decided to try again

on that whole romance thing.

so it's dark. like pitch black.

and we're kissing.

and then Lover starts to sniffle.

which wasn't weird cuz he get's a runny nose

a lot when we kiss.

which i never thought was odd until i just typed it out.

hmm.

anyway.

i started to taste something

that didn't taste like something i should be tasting

while you're making out.

so i said,

"Lover? i think your nose is bleeding."

so we turned on the lights

and of course, it was.

then i looked in the mirror

to wipe away any drips on my face.

and apparently his nose had been bleeding

for a lot longer than we thought.

because i looked like a murder scene.

super. freaking. hot.

i'm telling you.

if you ever want to be seriously sex'd up and turned on

rub a bunch of blood all over your face and neck

and then get nEked.

it really seals the deal.

conclusion?

3rd romance attempt = fail.

so instead of trying to be all lovie and idyllic,

we just decided to be us.

late night runs to the gas station for treats.

with a nice view of course.

shopping for new digs for this hot dude.

eggrolls eating eggrolls.

arguing over who's cheesecake tastes best.

mine?

or his?

we even pretended we were rich.

and he bought me a ring that i fell in love with.

only to have me return it 10 days later

in exchange for one of these bad boys.

much better choice.

we couldn't stay in raleigh the whole time.

because remember?

we were only pretending to be rich.

and we aren't.

so it was back to camp lejeune

to stay at the bachelor officer's quarters for a few days.

it still had a nice view though.

being in so much love

i sometimes forgot i was even in dirty jville at times.

but the blood splatters on the bathroom floor

of the gas station bathroom

would always remind me.

thanks blood.

*ralph*

in jville we still enjoyed ourselves

regardless of our surroundings.

we got crappy massages

and pedicures.

Lover only lost half of his big toe during it.

it's ok.

he still has the other half.

we also got Lover a budget phone.

he wasn't available for an upgrade

for another 2 months.

so he had to get this sweet thang.

i know.

don't be jealous.

who cares what his phone looks like.

all that matters is what mine looks like

when he calls.

so nice to see a screenshot that says "Lover:)" again.

we pigged out on michealangelo's pizza.

my favorite.

mmm. i'm drooling right now.

and we dined with special friends.

extra special.

notice the two man hands longing to hug.

or spoon?

spouse?

i bet Lover will let you be the mullet guy.

finally the time had come for me to go.

(and end this neverending post. good grief.)

so i said goodbye

to this exceptionally sexy face.

oh my gosh.

could anyone BE more hot?

seriously?

i feel sorry for everyone else.

freak...

and then hello!

to this lovely little gem of a brandi i found at the airport!

what a great way to brighten up a sad day :)

to be continued

well.

if you're in for more.

this was almost too much.

but you have to read about the kids reunion.

i'm so annoying.

peace out.

ricka ricka rewind.

2011-06-27T01:00:00.001-05:00

remember when i had that Lover

who was in afghanistan for 7 months?

and remember how i whined and moaned

and quit blogging

until the radical day i was able to fly away

and go and be with him for his homecoming?

i'm gonna talk about that now.

a little flashback monday action for ya

to recap what i failed to blog about

because i was being lame.

so the time had come

to frickin finally go see my Lovie mcLovester.

i had planned for me to go alone.

eleven days.

alone.

me. Lover. alone.

i know right?

thankfully i have a pretty sweet A friend

mia.

and a sweet A father in law

pops.

and sweet A parents

who were able to help out and cover for me.

before i could jet,

there were some items of business i had to take care of.

first up?

a horrid trip to "brazil"

and then another trip to brazil again the next day

because my tour guide wasn't thorough enough the first day.

bleh.

talk about embarrassing.

(i'll save you the visual aid on this one.

your welcome.)

next up?

toes!

a little homemade pedicure action.

and i couldn't forget the face.

a nice orange peel mask.

which i don't think did a THING

except make my skin smell nice and citrus-y

and clear my nasal passage ways.

now attire.

this was a tricky one.

i only needed a couple hundred outfits.

which may or may not have made me pay

an additional $90

for having extra heavy luggage.

and i only needed a few pairs of shoes.

because you just never know.

and apparently i really didn't know

because it ended up being

like practically snowy weather while i was there.

it was awesome.

not really.

after one final shot

of me being a single mother of 5

i was off!

the first couple of days

i just played with friends.

i arrived on the first day of Lover's flight window

and he didn't end up coming till the last day

so i had a little time for some nonsensical fun

with two bone-heads.

we of course had to do a little

goodwill hunting.

i told michele she should have gotten

the leopard business jumper.

the shoulder pads made her look professional.

and smooooth.

but she thought it didn't play up her curves enough.

she's kinda boring.

we also got our gangster on

eating sushi.

have you ever been somewhere

and your eyes meet with some dudes eyes

and they lock by accident.

and then you look away

but he thinks that was a sign

that you're hot for him.

and then every time you look in that direction

he hurries and looks to catch your eyes again?

yea.

that's what happened to me.

awkward.

but only because rita wished he was looking at her.

hah.

sorry rita.

he liked roundy girls

with seriously long bony fingers.

what can i say? that's hot.

after all of our lolligaggin

i went home to have sweet dreams of my Love

on rita's insanely

too good to be true

air mattress.

and then...

oh shoot.

you'll have to wait until the next post

to read about the day i got to

smoooooooooch

my Lover.

stay tuned!

i don't blog on the weekend.

2011-06-25T09:03:00.005-05:00

'cept i do.

well today i do.

i got a contest to win people.

i can't be layin' around on my rear

doin' nuthin.

psshhhh.

wow.

that was a lot of apostrophe's .

75 new followers in 2 days.

what in the mother truckin JUNK?!

are u kidding me?

seriously?

who knew the power of the hussy's peeps?

i love you guys.

if i win this,

i promise to never leave you again

for as long as i did these past few months.

so i started crossfit yesterday.

which means,

i'll be able to kick your ass in a few months.

just kidding.

no really i could.

but i won't.

maybe.

by the end of the summer i'll look this hot.

my boobs will magically grow.

(instead of just being tube socks with sand in the bottom)

i'll have long luscious black hair

(down to the nips of course)

and big lips

the perfected tan

(even the unladylike innards of my leggies)

and perfect clothes

and i'll be able to do my eye makeup

like a professional

every. single. day.

and my booty?

will still be just as big.

if not bigger.

crossfit supports ghetto badonkadonks.

for real, my butt is that big.

ask bonnie.

she watched it slap me in the back of my head

as i ran next to her on the treadmill.

(stop laughing bonnie and dena you tErds)

ok for real.

wtc is this post about anyway?

i think i just wanted to post a picture

of kim kardashian's butt

cuz i've never really seen it before

in all it's ghetto glory.

it makes me feel normal.

anywho.

soon i'll be smokin hot

with crossfit sexiness radiating off of me.

but for now?

i'll just look like this.

which is okay too.

now go tell your friends to follow me.

do it.

happy weekend!!

oh oh oh.

my irreverent shoes?

from vickytoria's secret!!

it's inappropriate.

2011-06-24T07:58:00.004-05:00

i read somewhere

in a blog article

about the "rules" of blogging

that you should never speak to your audience

liiiiiike i do all the time.

and do you know how i feel about that "rule"?

it can kiss my ghetto rump shakin booty.

because it's crap.

and i'm pretty sure the 30 followers i got overnight,

think it's crap too.

thanks y'all!

keep it up! 100 to go! we got this!!

team hussy!

*******

it's inappropriate

to use baby powder in your hair

on a regular basis

because you're a lazy tErd and you don't wanna wash it.

ever.

because your 3 year old will see you

and think it's normal.

it's inappropriate

for any place of business

(i don't care what it's offering)

to have the term

"vibration service"

plastered on the side of it.

unless you live in jacksonville, nc i guess.

it's inappropriate

for your kid to play with a dead snake

like it's his best friend.

and it's even more inappropriate

for you to watch him and take pictures

instead of freaking out

and dipping him in a vat of lysol.

it's inappropriate

to do this in your front yard.

it's still inappropriate

even if you have clothes on.

and it's even more inappropriate

to teach your little brother how to do it.

(that's guppy's thumb, everyone just calm down!)

it's inappropriate

to eat a milky way during sunday school.

but only because

everyone else will be jealous.

it's inappropriate

to wear irreverent shoes

to church.

wait.

no it's not.

it's hot.

it's inappropriate

to take a picture

of two ginger boys at target.

especially when they aren't yours.

and lastly.

it's inappropriate

of Lover to take a picture of me

when i'm not ready

and perfectly posed

with perfect hair and makeup and clothes

making the perfect sexy half-smile.

cuz now i just look like a cross-eyed weirdo

with uncomfortably large hands.

back in bizonka-ness.

2011-06-23T16:21:00.003-05:00

hey freaks.

so i packed up the whole upstairs at my parent's,

loaded it all in a big truck,

drove for two days to north carolina,

and moved in to a NEW lowe family home.

our OWN home.

and the best part?

Lover LIVES with us.

what a phenomenon, huh?

anyway.

i switched to a mac.

and me and gussy are learning the ropes of it.

so we can get back to blogging.

i have so much to tell you!

OH.

and besides that fact that my gus is

adorable,

there's a

big huge important contest

going on.

no model lady and i

(don't click on that link cuz she's the enemy

and then you'll like her when u read her blog and then you'll want to follow her

but that's against the rules.)

have the

SAME. NUMBER. of FOLLOWERS.

870.

so i challenged her to fight.

first one to 1000 wins a free meal on the other.

which means i need YOU

to find all your friends who don't already know about me

(i know, that's gonna be hard to find)

and tell them to:

FOLLOW ME!

LOVE ME!

I'M BLOGGING AGAIN!!!

can you tell i'm excited?

the hussy rules!!!!

confirmation through a loss.

2011-05-15T20:03:00.014-05:00

a couple weeks before i left to get my Lover in NC,

we got some rotten news.

miah's foster parents called to tell us

they had seen on the news that

miah's biological mom

had been killed.

it's really a very sad story.

her entire life, that is.

i told miah

what had happened that night.

we're very open with him about everything.

and i wanted him to remember

the day that his mother died

because that is a huge part of where he came from.

i told him

that i would go to the funeral for him

and tell him all about it.

and take pictures of his family that he had never met.

and he was very VERY excited about that.

at first i was against letting the family know who i was.

our adoption is not open

so they have no idea who has jeremiah

or what happened to him (as i later found out)

and this would be my first time meeting them as well.

i had never even seen a picture of his mother

until i saw the news clip.

i wasn't sure if my being at the funeral

would make things better or worse.

but after thinking about it,

and talking to miah's foster mom a lot,

i decided that

i HAD to tell them who i was.

and not only that,

but i had to bring them pictures of my miah

to show them how perfect he is.

and so?

i did just that.

and although i was shaking with nerves

and stumbling over all my words like a fool,

i told them this:

"my name is jessica lowe.

i am jeremiah's mom,

martha's 4th son.

i wanted to be here to tell you how sorry i am for your loss

but i also wanted to tell you

how grateful i am

for the gift that martha has given our family.

thank you."

my presence there was so greatly appreciated

by his ENTIRE family.

i was able to take pictures

of all of his half siblings

(he has 6 of them!)

for him to keep forever.

they treated me and my mom (who went with me)

with such respect,

bringing us to the front of the burial

to be with all of the family,

as if we were just that,

family.

being there made me realize

how perfect heavenly father's plan for us is.

even though i already knew

that jeremiah was meant to be in our family

since before he came to this earth,

i was also able to get a feel

for what martha felt

on the day that she gave birth to him.

from the information i received at the funeral from her family,

i know 100% that even martha knew

that he was not meant for her to raise.

given the circumstances he was born under,

he was taken away from her

and although she could have easily followed the plan to get him back,

she chose not to.

there is, of course, a lot more to the story

but i'd rather keep that sacred

to our family and those who are close to us.

my point is, martha felt it.

she knew he was not her son

and she wrote him off very quickly

to avoid creating a bond with him.

and as sad as that sounds,

i'm very grateful

that she listened to that feeling.

the whole experience has given me even more confirmation

on how important it was

for miah to be in our family.

which makes him all the more special to me

(if it's even POSSIBLE to be more special than he already is).

rest in peace martha alicia ramon

9.22.84 - 3.12.11

wanna know who will be wearing THE dress?

2011-05-13T15:08:00.004-05:00

eeek!

finally. a winner.

sorry for the delay in posting.

you can thank blogger for being a dumb cuss

and not letting me schedule a post last night.

have i ever told you how much i hate blog contests

because it makes me feel like a jerk

for not letting everyone win?

i hate them. i really do.

my winner (chosen by random.org) is:

theamazingjohnsons.

(email me chick or leave me a comment with your email

and i'll give you the deets on what to do.)

yay for her!

boring if you're not her.

boo.

thank you to everyone who entered.

and to ease you into the weekend,

here's a lovely little gem of a video

my dad created.

yes he's talented.

and skinny.

did i tell you he lost 15 pounds?

well he did.

not that you care.

but he does, apparently.

he tells me everyday.

*****

Lover's Deployment and Return from David George on Vimeo.

happy weekendness :)

it's inappropriate.

2011-05-11T16:53:00.000-05:00

after thumbing through my recent photos,

(not really thumbing, i just like that word and the way it sounds.

all my pictures are online which would make it quite difficult to "thumb" them.

ok now that sounds inappropriate all in itself.)

i've come to the realization that

i take a lot of inappropriate pictures.

not that that's a bad thing.

even though it is,

in a good way of course.

i've decided that occasionally,

i'll start to have an "it's inappropriate" post

to show them to you.

what good are inappropriate pictures

if you can't share them,

right?

let us begin.

it's inappropriate to be given a license plate

you had no control over.

but you know you kinda like it.

it's inappropriate to call for help

when your hand is stuck in the garbage can at the spray park.

or at least guppy thinks it is.

it's inappropriate to text your friend

at an inappropriate time,

when you're inappropriately dressed.

it's inappropriate to puke

in the middle of the shoe isle at target

while your mom is busy trying on cute shoes.

or maybe it's just inappropriate to take a picture of it?

it's inappropriate to wear your shirt as a skirt

(nude underneath of course)

while de-hairing a dog with a lint roller.

it's inappropriate to name the men's bathroom...

head.

it's inappropriate for my stomach to look like this

as i sit at the computer eating ice cream,

of course.

and lastly.

always the best.

it's inappropriate for a truck on the highway

to carry two large white jugs

labeled "discharge".

i heart inappropriateness.

have you entered my giveaway HERE?!

well you can still get more entries

by voting for no model lady EVERY DAY

over here!!

oooh la la. shabby apple giveaway!

2011-05-09T20:33:00.003-05:00

**REVISED**

so since I’m a hussy with little or no brains, there was a small misunderstanding (on my part) about which dresses I could give to my readers. who knew there were rules to follow, right? psshh. hussies don’t do rules.

anyhow. I’ve picked out another amazing dress for you to win.

same giveaway.

this is not in addition to the gondola dress, this is in place of the gondola dress. just want to be clear on that.

eeek. sorry?

no but for real. you can’t go wrong with shabby apple.

so there’s this little company that asked me to do a giveaway for them. you probably haven’t ever heard of them.

shabby apple.

I KNOW RIGHT!?

me?! a giveaway for shabby apple?

uhhh, YEAH!

but then i got all crusty about it because if i’m giving away a dress then i can’t have it for my very own! dangit.

but lucky you, right?

*grumble*

so they recently launched a new line called the roamin holiday. oh my heavens. soooooo pretty. i want like all the dresses. i went through all of their collections and picked out one my very most favorite dress that i want to give to…

YOU!

introducing:

happy talk.

shabby apple is seriously like one of the cutest online boutiques that is centered around creating women’s dresses AND little girls dresses that don’t require any other piece of clothing (except accessories of course!) no cardigans, no slips, no tank tops just simple beautiful dresses.

if you’ve never checked them out, please do. you’re missing out!

and now for the rules and regulatories to win!!

*go to shabby apple’s facebook page and like them!*

for additional entries:

*follow me*

*share this contest on your facebook page*

*help my super sistren friend, no model lady, win the #1 military blog by voting for her HERE*

vote for no model lady each day on your computer AND phone! just click that yellow little thumbs up that appears when you hit the link. it’s sooo easy people. sooo easy. for every vote you give her, come back here and leave me a comment for more and more and more entries!!

be sure and leave me a comment for every single entry you do!

I’m just gonna have to trust you on the voting *wink*

the shabby apple contest ends thursday 5pm central time.

winner announced friday morning.

contest open to us residents only.]

good luck chicks!

welcome home sweet Lover-o-mine.

2011-04-27T19:10:00.009-05:00

sorry for the riDONKulous spacing.

stupid blogger.

WoW.

do i even know how to do this thing they call blogging anymore?

forgive me for being lame with this post.
i need to practice for a bit

before i get back to super blogger level again.

wait, was i ever that to begin with?
prolly not.

and riddle me this, batman.

how the junk did i get over 800 followers

after i quit blogging?

y'all are making it hard to just walk away.

jerks.

not much has happened here in the last 2 months.

bwuhahahhahha!

that's a lie.

a LOT has happened.

my Lover came home.

and i'm almost 100% positive you've seen all the videos

and news clips.

but just in case you haven't

(and because i like to show off how awesome my family is)

go HERE to see us on abc.

(ps. no, he's not going back to afghanipoo

and yes, they misspelled just about everything in the article.)

oh and what's that?!

you also saw us on nbc, cbs and fox?

oh yea

*dusting shoulders*

we're kinda famous like that.

*wink*

(so what if i'm a frickin news whore. hush it.)

everyone is getting used to

having daddy home.

some of us are having a harder time than others.

izey may or may not tell Lover to shutup on a daily basis.

i take that back.

an hourly basis.

thank you jake for teaching him that word.

this is probably the ONLY hug

Lover was willingly given from isaak since he's been home.

which makes it one of my favorite pictures.

only time will tell

if izey will ever forgive Lover

for leaving him.

just kidding.

he'll get over it.

until then, Lover will endure the wrath of penny.

my sister made us a beautimous slideshow

of all 3 homecomings.

(mine, babies and the kids at school)

it's so precious.

and you will cry.

and if you don't,

you're heartless and you should stop following me.

not really.

but kinda.

watch it HERE.

thank you sweet friends
for giving me my much needed break.
be patient with me
as i break back into this blogging world.
i need to find my rhythm again.

oh.
and there's one more thing i have to say...

my life?
it's perfect :)

just sayin.

my heart is over flowing.

2011-03-17T14:37:00.003-05:00

just so you know,

i'm not blogging.

contrary to what this may look like.

but i'm AM,

just peeking in just to show you something

AmAzInG.

this.

(you better click that link or else!)

right there.

and all of the other 1209218392849034 kajillion people

who have prayed for my family,

bought or made us dinner,

made us laugh,

watched my kids,

brought me treats,

checked in on me through texts, msg's, or phone calls,

played "dad",

sent packages to my Lover,

sent me sweet cards and letters,

and much much more.

all those people who have done things

to make life just THAT much easier.

to keep our minds away from sad things.

those people,

are what helped me through this deployment.

i love you.

you know who you are.

the countdown is on friends.

it. is. ON.

(no i mean it. like literally. it will be.)

wish me luck.

oh.

and a good hair day.

*wink*

and if you're lucky,

i might have

an ExTrAOrDiNaRy slide show

for you

to recap the reunion greatness.

!!OoOOoOooOoOO!!

i can't say what i wanna say.

2011-03-09T20:53:00.005-06:00

i told myself i wasn't going to blog this week.

and i'm not.

except i am, just to tell you this...

i'm not going to blog this week.

or maybe next week either.

or maybe ever again.

wanna know why?

because i can.

sometimes when i get really overwhelmed with life

or tired

or sick of sick kids

orrrrrrr

maybe when i'm on the last couple weeks

of being a single mom for the last 7 months

and i'm frickin tired of doing everything,

i get seriously lost in deep thoughts.

not deep toots.

and i start over analyzing everything.

including my blog(zzzzzz).

and then i get annoyed at it.

and i don't wanna be a part of this annoying thing anymore.

and THAT, my friends,

is when i know it's time to take a break from it.

so like the title of this post says,

i can't say what i wanna say.

because i'm holy.

*snort*

(even though i say it in real life sometimes)

but for you?

respect.

and i'll "choose my words"

like mia always tells me to do.

if you happen to crave a dollop of my hilariousness

you can always find me on facebook.

peace out until then, friends.

all dressed up - little brown dude.

2011-03-01T22:00:00.004-06:00

i'm switching things up a tad this week.

all i'm gonna say is,

prepare to be mega jealous of me.

if you like dressing up,

go here to find out how to play.

so.

i have this teeny weeny guy.

his name is jere'miah'.

and he's pretty much 6 today.

(march 2)

so instead of taking pictures of myself

(all ugly, vain and vapid like as anonymous tells me i am *ahem*)

i decided to give my miah all the attention.

i mean,

it IS his day.

let me just say this.
i learned something about my sweet miah during this shoot.
he is 100% GQ quality.
i mean i knew he was handsome.
irresistible.
funny.
charming.
flirty.
and stylish.

but this kid has got it goin on.
and he knows it.
when the camera is on him,
he WORKS it.

i mean seriously.
those paisley shaped smiley eyes?
are you freaking kidding me?
you can't get more adorable than that.

last night just so happened to be
his classroom's open house.
so i snapped a shot of the star student board we made.
it sums up miah to a 'T'.

well.
except for the bona fide gangsta part.
we forgot to include that.

he's not only incredibly good looking.
(zoolander)
but he's also quite agile too.
everyone likes an agile kid.
i think.

i'm for real people.
all this posing?
straight model face with pouty lips?
miah.
he did it all.
i barely had to coach him.

hair: 3-4 different products to achieve perfected faux hawkness.
checkered button up: hand me down - gymboree
green sweater vest: hand me down.
jeans: mossimo - target.
shoes: converse target.
yummy brown skin: cannot be bought. delicious to the taste.

happy 6th birthday my sweet boy.
you were hand picked to be in our family
by your Heavenly Father.
thank. you.
for making me such a lucky mom.

to read miah's adoption story,
go here.

what's on jessica's phone - i get around.

2011-03-01T08:18:00.005-06:00

so i guess i had a pretty productive week

because i got a lot of good stuff this time.

well.

crap.

i shouldn't have said that

because now you have high expectations.

and what if i think my stuff is "good"

but you don't

which is likely?

then i just feel like dog poop

on the bottom of some one's shoe.

whatever.

let's do it.

i'll risk feeling like crap (literally)

for your entertainment.

don't i always?

go here for info if you wanna play with us!

candy cigarettes.

i was always to scared to buy these as a kid.

i thought to myself,

"when i grow up i'm going to buy those all the time."

but guess what?

now i'm to embarrassed to buy them.

dangit.

we're a little unconventional in our family.

sometimes we eat breakfast on the counter.

and sometimes

we have ramen for breakfast.

my new watch :)
ok. i know what you're thinking.
"sydney from daybook has that watch.
the hussy is just copying her. blah blah blah."
but, correction:
i got my watch A DAY before she got hers.
i swear.
it just took me two months to get it sized.
so i had it first.
just sayin.

boys ready for summer.

we're a little bit weird.
that's all.

i had a day off last week.
no babies from 9am-7pm.
i bought new bras.
i gallivanted in the streets.
i "ran in" to stores just for a quick peek.
i tried on clothes.
i bought honey booty joe's jeans.
and i ate fried catfish
all. by. my. lonesome.
and i was actually able to enjoy it this time.

oh.
and i also got my disaster of a car, cleaned.
and i found leather seats
under all the poo.
exciting.

i'm about 98.9% sure that
isaak will be a hairdresser when he grows up.
this is like his most favorite thing to do.
here he's washing kora's hair.
and looking darn cute.

sometimes,

penny likes daddy to sleep with him.

so my rambo is a difficult guy.

he doesn't let many people get close to him.

and guys?

especially not.

but on this particular day,

i guess kristi's husband was exactly what he needed.

and i can't lie

it almost made me tear up.

i can only imagine how big his hug will be

for daddy.

maybe i'm just odd.

ok, nevermind. that was dumb.

i AM odd.

i think we all know that by now.

but look at this logo.

i'm assuming it's supposed to be a longhorn.

but it looks so much like a jockstrap to me.

almost done.

i know i know.

this one is mega long and annoying.

i'm sorry.

actually i take that back. i'm not.

deal with it.

ramby's new hat.

a pullup.

he's going to let me borrow it on thursday

when i get my wisdom teeth taken out.

eek.

and the most radical besty for lasty mclasterama?!?

remember my day alone?

yes.

i totally went to the bathroom

in a store

and wrote on the wall.

because that's hot.

and suuuuuuuper romantical :)

let's all join hands (i mean links)

and play along!

*******

goodbye guppy bieber.

2011-02-24T15:14:00.004-06:00

a day or so ago,

i determined that it would be in the best interest of gupper

to have his hair chopped.

as cute as he was with his bieber roundiness,

it was getting out of control.

point in case,

this day.

when a precious haircut quickly turned into

crusty the clown gets angry.

or even worse,

this day.

evil dr. doofenshmirtz meets

bed head rambo.

a very deadly combination if you ask me.

the hair removal process was by no means, a fun task.

rambo doesn't like sitting still.

or looking straight.

or the sound of the clippers milimeters from his ears.

but the finished product was more than worth it.

introducing:

rambo hawk.

or guppy.

or gusser.

or gus.

or augi.

or just plain ole august woe

(if you ask izey).

i like to call this the chameleon haircut.

because when it's not fixed,

he turns into

penny.

jake.

funny how that happens.

and if you're wondering

if the lowe philosophy stands true,

(the boys are sweet when their hair is short

and turn rowdy and naughty when it gets long)

the answer is no.

he's 100% rowdy

all. the. time.

all dressed up - lemon love.

2011-02-23T01:00:00.001-06:00

YaY.

it's wednesday.

and although this is my fun week,

i've toned it down a tad.

due to...

nothing.

i don't have an excuse.

but please don't be ugly to me.

michele's evil texts are rough enough.

she's mean.

go here if you wanna dress up with the mean girl.

so before i left north carolina,

i had some sehhhhhsy pinup pics taken

for my Lover, of course.

i didn't post them here

because again,

for Lover.

but when i did them,

i got to wear this adorable lemon hair clip

that i fell in love with.

i wanted to take it home with me.

badly.

so when i got to texas,

i was telling my friend, mia, about it.

and for christmas,

she got all crafty...

...and made me my own lemon-y love.

*warm heart*

and on this past sunday,

i finally had all the pieces i needed for

the perfect lemon-y sabbath outfit.

so the lemons, came out and,

they. were. hot.

lemons: gift from mia

white ruffle shirt: ebay'd ralph lauren $8

yellow striped cardi: ebay'd target .99

black ball necklace: target clearance

black polka dot flare pencil skirt: thifted $5

three tiered white ruffle slip: a slip shop

ruffle socks: urban outfitters

yellow peep toes: thrifted steve madden $7

here's a closeup of the preciousness.
doesn't it make you want your own lemons?
don't lie.
you know you want 'em.

and on a side note.
my friend, bonnie, never participates in this game.
but that's because she's busy being all nursy mcnurser.
so i've taken it upon myself,
to play for her.
here she is all dressed up,
in her nurse bonnie suit.

see that big smile?
her Lover is coming home
very. very. VERY. soon.
from a YEAR LONG deployment.
yea,
she's a little bit happy.
i love when my friends are happy.

if you wanna dress up,
go visit michele
@no model lady!

what's on jessica's phone - 1298903 hours late.

2011-02-22T15:18:00.004-06:00

do you wanna know why

i'm not a big time blogger?

cuz i suck at deadlines.

and being organized.

and following up on things.

i'd totally be cjane.

or nienie.

psshh.

but i just CHOOSE not to.

*wink*

i used to be so good when i had my business.

then when i sold it,

i think i sold my brain too.

sorry.

i'll keep this open for tomorrow too

since i'm so lame.

go here for the deeeeetails on how to play.

but you don't really need rules

cuz i don't even follow them.

*shrug*

penny had another trip back to the allergist.

we're supposed to start slowly

introducing milk again.

i tried it the first day.

aaaaaaand

i won't be doing that again for awhile.

bad. idea.

so i'm a really bad mom

who let her baby get sunburned

who knew u needed sunscreen in february?!

pawpaw cleaned out his pond this week.
that means they got to catch
allllll 28 fish in the pond
and entertain them while the pond was being de-goo'd.

sometimes you plan to meet a friend at the zoo.
and when you see each other there,
you're wearing the exact same outfit.
sweet.

sometimes penny gets hot.
so he just takes his shirt off.
in the middle of a store.
no biggie.

so the time has come
to begin preparations for Lover's return.
i can't even believe i'm saying that.
wow.
have i really almost finished this thing?!

so i got a haircut.

and i'm gettin my swoll on
thanks to my rockstar trainer
julia ladewski
from
work, wife, mom...life.

supermom in training.
AND
elite fitness.
if you don't know who she is, you're like an alien.
go here
to watch some of her awesomeness.
one day i'll be as tough as her. one day.

i love when people have no shame.
subway. at. mcdonalds.

so the other day i realized that
Lover has never seen gusser walk.
he wasn't walking when he left
and he can't watch online videos there.
so i decided to send him a picture
that shows gupper walking.

best for LAST.
you know the maxine cartoon?

well i found the real life maxine.
and yes,
she was wearing bunny slippers.

hold my hand and play with me!!

*******

cleaning shrimp poop out of the crevassas.

2011-02-21T10:36:00.004-06:00

sometimes when we go to the park for 4 hours,

guppy gets dirty

and requires a good ole neck cleaning.

puerta rican style of course.

yes my baby is wearing a wife beater.

yes he's sunburned.

no he doesn't have any shoes on.

and yes he's drinking a dr pepper.

we like to keep things nice and trashy.

so what.

off to the zoo today!

peace out.

photography courtesy of

kenni lane p hotography.

whats on jessica's phone - stinky linky

2011-02-15T09:46:00.003-06:00

ok i'm stinky and greasy so i'm gonna make this fast.

wanna play?

don't know how?

go here.

this was the extent of my black eye

from a week ago.

as much as i loved looking hardcore,

i was ready to be normal again.

the looks of disapproval from everyone everywhere i went

started to get a little annoying.

can't a mom just get head butt'd by her kid

without being ridiculed?!!?

(i kinda have vienna cross eyes in this picture)

snapped this of my guy one night.

SOME people said that i should have taken his hand out.

but i left it in.

do you take your boys' hands out when u find them like this?

he just feels safe.

no harm no foul *shrug*

my snow message for lover.

that i copied from melissa.

because it was just too cool not to.

rambo's new shirt.

he promotes me.

one time i saw a car on fire.
aaaaaaand

it was pretty awesome.

creme facial hair removal bonding time.

ok penny's is really just lotion.

but he feels special.

every now and then,

guppy throws fits.

big ones.

but it's okay because he looks like this

when he's not throwing a fit.

and i can't resist his bieber roundiness.

not. one. bit.

i will own one.

one day.

yes.

yes i will.

my new favorite meal at chiloso.

grilled avocado.

mmmm. dreeeeeeamy.

and the bestie for lastie?

this one's a creeper.

isaak took this picture with my phone.

note: i did NO photo editing to this picture.

he used the hipstamatic app all on his own.

i feel like i need to sleep with one eye open now.

*chills*

yo yo yo.

let's do this!

*******

my kora valentine.

2011-02-14T10:25:00.003-06:00

oh my dear oh my dear,
this girl is UH.MAY.ZING.
i've officially decided that she is my 2011 valentine.

a few weeks back, kora came to me all whiny and blah

saying, "i'm booooooored."

so i gave her my camera,

a tiny tripod, taught her how to use the self timer, and said,

"have at it!"

i know how much she loves taking pictures of herself.

i dunno where she gets that from.

that's weird.

and vapid. and vain. and self-centered. and conceited.

aaaaaaaand...

fun.

so when i got my camera back,

i had quite the fashion show to watch.

needless to say, she made me smile.

kora.

she's wild, crazy, hyper, dramatic, weird, hunduddlun, goofy, extremely intelligent, a leader, emotional, loving, spiritual, motherly, helpful, an example, considerate, independent, bold, gorgeous,

and about a million more adjectives.

but best of all,

she's mine.

happy valentines.

milspouse roundup week #23 - linky!

2011-02-11T01:00:00.001-06:00

hi you! thanks for stopping by.

i get to host this week's roundup!

me. i know. me.

crazy.

i tidied up a bit since i knew i was having visitors.

if you're a military spouse or girlfriend,

then welcome welcome :)

if you're not, no worries,

come and read about how cool we are!

since i don't know most of you,

i thought i'd introduce my family.

*******

this is me.

jessica. the Hussy.

also known as:

mom, mutha, mommy, Lover, baby, jess, precious, love

or jake's mom.

(that's my newest title thanks to his 10 yr old girl fan club)

this is my Lover.

he is currently deployed in afghanistan.

stop drooling.

and these are our five rats.

1. jakob (jake or austin)

2. kora (koko)

3. jeremiah (miah)

4. isaak (penny)

5. august (guppy or rambo)

they're a tad bit rowdy. just a tad.

now that you've made yourself comfortable,

lemme tell you how this works!

the milspouse roundup

is here to help us connect with each other.

through blog land.

no matter where we're stationed.

awww *warm heart*

you pick your favorite post from the week,

link it up here,

and then spend some time visiting other milspouses

and their favorite posts!

be sure to leave them some love!
and next friday you get to linkup with your host:

hillary (cleo) at the whole famdamily.

*******

all dressed up - i'm just normal today.

2011-02-08T21:33:00.005-06:00

it's that blah week for me.

boring for you.

sorry.

a hussy can't be fantastical every week.

well.

at least not in public.

hah.

wanna get dressed up and play with us?

go visit, meeeeshel. my bell. at...

no model lady.

have i mentioned how much i love thrifting?

ok, well i do.

hair: perfect.

that's all i can really say about that.

white tank: tarje'

white ruffle button down: ann taylor loft

red flowerdy sweater vest: thrifted

ultra dark skinnies: tarje' william rast 50% off.

moccasins: ugly.

i have since replaced them with some sweet sperry top siders.

and some days, i don't have time to get all put together.
so i end up looking like this.

and how is this NOT cute
when i match my kid?

ok then.

hat: tai pan
snoopy shirt: delia's
striped cardi: old navy? target?
gold stitched dark skinnies: piper's closet via alloy
red leather flats: urban outfitters
diaper bag: kalencom
little rambo preciousness: Lover + Hussy

now go put something on and take a picture of it.
please.
your nEked is showing.

what's on the hussy's phone - linkit blinkit.

2011-02-08T09:15:00.003-06:00

i have the freakin beastie boys stuck in my head this morning.

so i'm in my bath.

singing beastie boys.

"so whatcha whatcha whatcha WAAANT?!"

and then i'm like,

oh dang.

i bet my readers want

my phone linkup post.

i kinda dropped the ball last night.

i was so caught up in bachelor draaaaamaaaaa.

gosh that's the greatest show ever.

is it not?

don't lie. you know u love it.

and if you don't?

*cough* michele *cough*

then you SUCK.

hah.

you don't like the lighthouse?

then you suck.

sorry. inside joke.

play with us.

pleeeeease!

go here for the deets.

the kids played at my sister's house this weekend.

and when i went to pick them up,

i had to steal a picture of my aidan.

sweet toothless cousin aidan.

it's been so friggity frickin cold here

that i've been wearing socks

plus

leg warmers.

sometimes you just can't get enough

of your sweet brown brother.

u just can't.

usually, when i bathe,

i like to have an audience.

it makes me feel popular

and nude.

very nude.

ok so i think i'm changing my name to

the thriftiest most thrifty thrifter EVER.

i scored this sweet lemon yellow striped cardi

for...

.99 cents folks.

thank you ebay.

do u even have ANY idea

how much use i'll get from this cardi?

no. you don't.

but let me just say,

i might as well sew it on my body

because yellow goes with everything.

guppy is a rambo of many faces.

one day he could be

a precious baby girl...

...and then the next?

a tiny car riding gnome.

did you hear?
we got a TAD bit of snow here in teXas.
just a tad.

eww.
no words for this one.
ok just one,
creeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.

bow chicka last one...

my family is basically
a norman rockwell painting.
(thanks for the reference kimmy!)

sometimes,
when we've been stuck indoors all day,
i get brave,
and take all 5 of my heathen rats out for breakfast.

and regardless of the stares,
and my heinous black eye,
we actually have a pretty good time.

now whatcha whatcha whatcha waaaaaant!?
ok that was gay.

i'll tell you what i want.
i wanna see your phone pictures.
now.
*******

all dressed up - a dress flip.

2011-02-01T20:54:00.002-06:00

time to get fancy.

go HERE for all the details.

then link up with michele at

no model lady.

all the cool kids are doing it.

if you haven't already noticed my trend,

i go big with all dressed up

every other week.

and guess what?

it's that other week.

and even though i'm deathly ill,

and took all my pictures with a 111 degree fever

(not really but close)

i still worked it for you.

this week i was inspired by

an old picture of mine from kindergarten.

i'm so precious.

really. i am. go on and say it. it's ok.

this picture makes up for the 1995 picture ten fold.

so i have to brag about it.

chill.

so my most recent thrift store hunt,

led me to a dress

that i could NOT walk away from.

and for some reason,

it's awkwardness called my name.

i swear, it said to me,

"make. me. pretty. please."

and then it cried a little tear.

no joke.

it's like this dress lived a dull boring life

as a duggar family hand me down.

and it was ready for a makeover.

and guess what?

i was ready to give it one.

but first,

a quick glance at it's past life.

bleckity bleck bleck BLAH.
you know it was worn with dirty tennis shoes.

you just know it.

now you see why the picture inspired me.

wow.

i haven't changed a bit in 32 years.

and now?
let me introduce to you
the sassy new and improved
sexified dress of 2011.

hot damn.
yea i said it.
and i don't even usually cuss on my blog.
but
HOT. DAMN.

do i know how to flip a dress or what?
and u bet your butt
i'll sport this at church on sunday.
never doubt a hussy.

you're welcome dress, you're welcome.

flipped dress: thrifted $7
canary cardigan: target
brown leather belt: target
peek-a-boo eyelet slip: a slip shop
sheer high heel socks: charlotte russe
yellow peep toes: thrifted $5
lashes?
now those are real honey.
back off.

after a hard day's photo shoot,
i let penny fix my hair
while i whined about my fever.
because i can.